Arkwrights Groceries Sweatshirt

Stutter your way into supreme cosiness with this classic tribute to the meanest grocer north of the Trent! Albert Arkwright stands arms-folded, moustache bristling, proudly proclaiming his shop OPEN ALL HOURS (roughly translated as “whenever I can be bothered, and definitely not when Nurse Gladys is walking past”).

Perfect for:

• Haggling with the thermostat over heating costs
• Guarding the biscuit tin like it’s the Crown Jewels
• Muttering “t-t-tremendous margin on t-t-tins” while doing the weekly shop
• Anyone who’s ever tried to save electricity by locking themselves out in the dark

Super-soft fleece-lined warmth (far more generous than Arkwright’s pricing policy), bold print that lasts longer than Granville’s romantic prospects, classic unisex fit, and available in 14 cracking colours (bottle green for that authentic 1970s corner-shop glow, or red to match his blood pressure when the till’s short).

Pull it on, fold your arms, and remember: love may come and go, but the shop’s open all hours (give or take).

A must-have for fans of proper Yorkshire thrift and sitcom gold. T-t-tremendous value!