FlashHeart T-Shirt

Channel your inner Squadron Commander  with this gloriously over-the-top tee. Front and centre: the word FLASH in massive, blazing orange-red letters (because subtlety is for Slackbladders), encircling a heroic portrait of the moustachioed masterpiece – scarf flying, pistol at the ready, eyes screaming "I've got a plan, and it's as hot as my pants!"

This isn't just a shirt; it's a declaration. Wear it to remind the world you're not dead – you simply ran out of juice (petrol, that is... though the ladies might disagree). Perfect for crashing any party, rescuing damsels (or pretending to), or just strutting about like the king of the skies while everyone else is stuck in the trenches.

Soft, premium cotton in a classic fit that'll survive dogfights, weddings, and Baldrick-level mishaps. Available in a whopping 14 colours – go classic black for that stealth Sopwith Camel vibe, or pick something loud to really make the girls go "Woof!" (and the boys go "Oh no, not him again").

Ideal for:

• Quoting "Woof!" at inappropriate moments
• Outshining every other pilot in the room
• Gifts for mates who think they're God's gift (they're not – Flash is)
• Proving you're back from the dead... again ("Cancel the state funeral!")

Machine washable, built tougher than a German Fokker, and guaranteed to make at least one person say, "Am I pleased to see you, or did I just put a canoe in my pocket?"

Woof! Flash is alive – and now on your chest. Let's dooooo it!

(Pro tip: Pairs brilliantly with aviator shades and an ego the size of No Man's Land.