French Taunter Hoodie

Introducing the French Taunter Hoodie – the cosiest way to defend your castle and deliver devastating medieval burns from the comfort of a very tall hood!

Proudly emblazoned across the chest: the most insufferably smug French knight, framed in ornate heraldry, boldly proclaiming "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries." Pull on the hood when English knnniggits approach, blow a raspberry from the safety of the drawstrings, or simply remind the world that your taunts are superior (and come with a ridiculous accent included free of charge).

Fetchez la vache? Non. Fetchez this hoodie instead.

Available in 14 gloriously provocative colours – because why limit your insults to just one shade of Gallic arrogance? Soft fleece-lined for maximum warmth while manning the ramparts, launching livestock, or just being fabulously rude. Kangaroo pocket perfect for storing elderberries (or emergency raspberries).

Ideal for Python obsessives, history nerds with attitude, and anyone who's ever wanted to yell "I fart in your general direction!" while staying toasty.

Now go away... or I shall taunt you a second time-ah, in supreme comfort!