French Taunter Mug

Introducing the French Taunter Mug – the ultimate vessel for sipping your morning brew while lobbing medieval-grade insults at your enemies (or just the kettle).

Wrapped around this sturdy ceramic chalice is the most gloriously obnoxious French knight, complete with ornate castle backdrop and the legendary banner: "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries." Perfect for blowing a silent raspberry every time you take a sip, or simply reminding your flatmates that your taunts are far superior (and come with a ridiculous accent at no extra cost).

I wave my private parts at your aunties? Non. I drink from this mug instead.

Holds a generous 11oz of tea, coffee, or whatever fuels your daily defence of the ramparts. Dishwasher and microwave safe – because even French knights appreciate modern convenience. Ideal for Python obsessives, history buffs with attitude, and anyone who's ever wanted to mutter "I fart in your general direction" over their cornflakes.

Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time-ah... with caffeine!