Oh Dear How Sad Hoodie

Pull up the hood and prepare to deliver peak British indifference with this magnificent tribute to Battery Sergeant Major "Shut Up" Williams. The man himself stares out from the chest badge, moustache bristling, surrounded by his world-famous sympathy-killer: OH DEAR, HOW SAD, NEVER MIND! – guaranteed to shut down whingers faster than a parade ground dressing-down.

Perfect for:

• Chilly mornings when the heating’s packed up (oh dear…)
• Hiding from moaners at work – just pop the hood and turn around slowly
• Family events where someone’s banging on about their problems – silent judgement delivered in fleece
• Anyone who believes feelings are for concert parties and real men just crack on

Super-soft fleece lining for maximum comfort while maintaining minimum empathy, kangaroo pocket (ideal for hiding biscuits or clenched fists), adjustable drawstring hood for extra brooding authority, and available in 14 cracking colours (burgundy for regimental swagger, or khaki if you fancy blending into the long grass of sarcasm).

Unisex fit – because zero sympathy is universal. Wear it, stand tall, and remember: life’s too short for fussing.

Oh dear, how sad, never mind – get the hoodie on and move along, there’s nothing to see here!