Walmington-on-Sea Home Guard Needs YOU Sweatshirt

Don’t panic! Captain George Mainwaring is pointing directly at YOU with that unmistakable blend of bank-manager authority and quiet desperation, declaring that the WALMINGTION-ON-SEA HOME GUARD PLATOON NEEDS YOU (probably to hold the left flank while he argues with Wilson).

This hilarious Dad’s Army parody of the classic recruitment poster is your new winter essential for defending the sofa from invaders, organising the family into pointless drills, or simply reminding everyone who’s in charge (it’s you, obviously).

Perfect for:

• Cosy evenings practising your best “You stupid boy!” glare
• Pub quizzes where you need to assert dominance over the wrong answers
• Cold days when Britain needs you... to put the kettle on
• Anyone who knows the real enemy is Pike’s mum and Jonesy’s dodgy meat

Super-soft fleece-lined comfort (far superior to 1940s greatcoats), bold print that survives more washes than the platoon’s ammunition supply, classic unisex fit, and available in 14 brilliant colours (red for maximum “stand out on parade” impact, or khaki if you fancy blending into the church hall).

Pull it on, stand to attention, and remember: they don’t like it up ’em, but they do like a nice warm jumper.

Your country needs you... to stay warm and laugh at the absurdity. Report for duty – order now!