Breakfast At Spoons Sweatshirt

Introducing the Breakfast At Spoons Jumper – the ultimate mash-up for anyone whose idea of glamour is a £5.99 full English washed down with a pint of cheap lager at 9am.

Picture this: Audrey Heartburn (yes, that's our elegantly suffering Holly Golightly) perched outside your local 'Spoons, little black dress pristine, pearl necklace gleaming, cigarette holder in one hand... and a massive plate of beans, bacon, sausages, eggs, black pudding, mushrooms, tomatoes, hash browns and toast in the other. She's gazing wistfully into the distance, probably wondering if the refills are really unlimited or if Tim Martin's just taking the piss.

Forget diamonds – breakfast is a girl's best friend when it's this greasy and under a tenner.

Available in 14 glorious colours (because nothing says sophistication like choosing between "Hungover Heather" and "Bean Juice Beige"). Cosy fleece-lined for those chilly mornings queuing for the carpeted paradise. Perfect for brunch enthusiasts, Wetherspoons loyalists, and anyone who's ever uttered the words "I'll just have one more pitcher."

Wear it loud. Wear it proud. And remember: in this version, the ending's happy as long as the kitchen's still serving.