'Tis But a Scratch! Black Knight Hoodie

When life hacks off an arm (or just spills your pint), stay calm and carry on with the unbreakable spirit of the Black Knight. This epic hoodie features the legendary limb-denier himself, bloodied but utterly defiant, proclaiming "Tis but a scratch!" like dismemberment is merely a minor wardrobe malfunction.

Perfect for:

• Cosy evenings denying the severity of hangovers, break-ups, or actual sword fights
• Pulling the hood up to hide from reality ("It's only a flesh wound!")
• Terrifying gym-goers who think skipping leg day is bad – wait till they meet a man with none
• Proving true grit means refusing to admit defeat, even when you're basically a stump

Super-soft fleece lining for maximum comfort on your quest, kangaroo pocket (great for storing spare limbs... or snacks), adjustable drawstring hood for brooding medieval vibes, and available in 14 valiant colours (royal blue for knightly swagger, or red to match the... battle stains).

Unisex fit for all brave (or delusional) souls. Wear it proudly and remember: as long as you can still shout "Come back, I'll bite your legs off!", you're winning.

Your search for the Holy Grail of comedy hoodies ends here. Ni!